Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
