He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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