but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
