Cold hands, warm shart.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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