i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
