Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
