We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
