He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
