the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
