life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The feeling are messing with the penis
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
send nudes
from the living room?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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