I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
