Yo dont text me then not text me
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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