I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
