You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
