then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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