I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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