Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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