so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
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I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize