He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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