I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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