There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
