we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
