Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
