The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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