This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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