I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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