No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
