Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
