He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
