Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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