shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
