3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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