I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
