Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
