just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
