Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize