I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
