i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize