Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
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Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
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You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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