hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
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