No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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