I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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