All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
