The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
