Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
