I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
