so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
