I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
