So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
