How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
