never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
