you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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