I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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