the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
