I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
